Things have gotten a little bit slow here or rather I've gotten a little bit slow. You see life has felt somewhat tough and it's been hard as a family to try and catch a breath. When you live with someone or suffer from depression (or as we called it being an exhausted pigeon) it drains all of your energy, you sort of lose all purpose of doing anything. Come September there are going to be changes at home, Lizzie starts her new class and Eva starts school. Both milestones I'm dreading and I’m struggling to adjust to. Life is flying by so fast that it feels a bit like I'm drowning. I think it's safe to say this applies to my husband too. I am all too aware of these feelings having suffered on and off for many years with depression and thanks to seeing previous counsellors I know the tools to try and help us through these times. What works for me is to keep busy, to do something with my time. Years ago when I felt like this I would sew, hence how KnittyKnotts started. It would give me the break in my mind. My hands would be busy and my brain would be thinking of other things other than sad thoughts. Unfortunately because this is now my job it doesn't give me that same relief that I am so desperately craving. I've pulled back from sewing, I've reduced my work load slightly not massively but enough for me to spend some time doing something else, I'm not posting as much work on social media instead I've fallen back in love with interiors again and my garden has become a sanctuary. Nothing too brain taxing but enough to stop sadness from seeping in. I've picked up a paint brush and painted anything I can. I've had my boy knock up some window boxes so I can prettify the house. A bit like painting on a mask only instead of on my face it's on our home.

It's been a couple of months since I've pulled back on the sewing front and I do miss picking up a needle and thread everyday and I so want to get back on the ball with it but I just can't muster the energy. It's like my passion has gone but I know it hasn't not really it's just the exhausted pigeon in me. 

I'm not quite sure why I've felt the need to explain myself on a blog post as to why I've pulled back from me, but it feels good to put it down. For now though I'm going to continue mulling along, enjoy life's small pleasures with my family because they are the best therapy I need at the moment. I'm going to enjoy summer with my girls and the boy before school starts back and life starts a new chapter. 

Muchas Love

Mrs KnittyKnotts aka An Exhausted Pigeon

xxx

I will hold my hands up and happily admit I am in fact a caravan wanker. I must stipulate that I haven't always been one it's only been the last few years that I have fully embraced the caravan life and not been ashamed to say "I holiday in a caravan". I feel like I need to just clear a few things up though. Let me take you back about 10 years when my husband was just about to turn 30 he said to me he quite fancied a VW camper van to do up. Now I was all down for this I could quite easily picture myself in a camper van with a surf board on top heading down to the beaches of Cornwall to catch the surf. Sounds perfect. Only my boy headed off to a caravan show room and pretty much put a deposit on a caravan there and then. I'm not going to lie I hated it. I loved the van it was pretty cool but caravanning wasn't for me, I had no where for my hair dryer or straighteners. I think I resented it because he sold me this dream of a camper not a Dethleffs camper. Anyway cue child number 1 and I started to enjoy it, purely because Lizzie loved adventures in the van. Along came a new caravan and another child and I was a fully fledged member of the caravan club and completely in the caravanning zone. We are now on to our 3rd caravan and I can honestly say there is no way I could part ways. The caravan life is for me. I'm living in my own dirt; no one else has slept in my bed or used my shower or cooker! And this new van, a Swift or as well call it Swifty, is a dream come true. I think I would go as far to say it's a caravan of dreams, I mean it's got an L shaped sofa. I don't even have an L shaped sofa in my house! The girls love it not to mention the boy. We constantly want to escape to it at any given moment, it really has become a sanctuary for us when life feels a little hectic. Now don't get me wrong caravanning isn't for everyone and I do occasionally miss staying in a holiday cottage or hotel, but I love heading off to see what new places we can discover and what adventures my girls will have along the way. All without feeling home sick because I'm already home so to speak. When it comes to places to stay, I'm afraid I'm a creature of comfort, in that I will only stay on a Caravan Club site, simply because I know the wardens are all lovely folk but mainly because their facitilies a fantastic and clean, even though I rarely use them. Also they tend to play Radio 2 in the shower block and I've started to get down to Radio 2 of late.

I could quite easily ramble on about my love of a caravan and the tow to car ratio but I think you may just think I've gone crazy so I will leave you with a few pictures of our new home on wheels and my declaration "my names Katie and I'm a caravan wanker"  

Our caravan of dreams - Swifty

Much Love

Mrs KnittyKnotts aka Caravan Wanker 

xx